Why is it so many of us are conditioned to be comfortable with being inauthentic?  I’m not talking about the purposeful intention to lie or deceive, as many of us are not in the habit of knowingly doing that on a regular basis.  No, I’m talking about unconscious insincerity.  The covert inner games, the hidden agendas and the stuff we automatically justify but which, under closer scrutiny, would probably not stack up as the most authentic response or behavior we could engage in.  Why is that? 

Well, if the law of conformity states our environment dictates most of our habitual thinking then let’s start with what influences many of us the most.  For the vast majority this happens to be the mainstream media.  Now, you may have seen my little soapbox post on the media (if not please watch here and educate yourself http://tinyurl.com/o3ktcbn) but in the spirit of becoming self aware, more authentic and reclaiming some of our power, let’s look a little deeper down the rabbit hole…

Through intelligent observation it doesn’t take long to realise the primary business model of the media is to place readership or viewership over objective truth.  Let’s remind ourselves that facts are always subjective, completely context dependent and will forever present themselves in a variety of different shades based upon the light they are highlighted or shown in.  This is also highly evident in the modern courtroom where winners and losers are frequently not decided by who is actually right or wrong in the context of law but by those who can present their argument in the most convincing manner.  Another awareness to consider is that ‘an event is just an event’ and the meaning we instantly ascribe to it will ALWAYS be subjective based on our relationship TO the event.  This is a level of growth many never reach.  For example, if a lion tracks, kills and eats a cute baby zebra, it’s not right or wrong, good or bad.  IT’S JUST AN EVENT.  If you are the mother of the baby zebra (and certainly if you are the zebra itself), your relationship to that event labels it a bad day.  If you are the lioness who’s cubs will starve that night if she doesn’t make a kill, it’s a good day.  To the tree growing on the savanna, it’s immaterial.  It’s just an event. A lion ate a zebra.  If someone purposefully flies a plane into a building, same deal.  Regardless of where you morally position yourself, it’s not right wrong good or bad. It’s just an event. Clearly your relationship to that event determines whether you label the person a terrorist or a hero but note it’s still all subjective.  What actually happened was a plane flew into a building.  As I said, this is a level of growth and awareness many never reach.

The reason for this is that when it comes to ascribing meaning, the craftsmanship of the media is to steer the audience into a ‘pre-determined’ viewpoint based upon the presentation and selected angle and syntax of certain highlighted facts whilst giving the ‘illusion of free choice’ through the presence of seemingly ‘unbiased’ information.  It’s unfortunate most reporters and journalists who work in the industry are more focused (both consciously and unconsciously) on serving this business model while simultaneously protecting & projecting their own significance/ego under the guise of such misaligned self-identities as ‘protector of the people’ or ‘exposé of the truth’.  Similarly, when any newspaper takes up a ‘cause’ then before one word is printed, the cause has already been assessed as to how much favorable exposure or positioning it will generate in the eyes of the well meaning but gullible audience.  Unfortunately, authentic examples of objective journalism these days are more the exception than the rule.  One thing I like about London Real is the commitment to being as objective as possible. Asking tough questions, shining the light on many different angles and then letting the audience decide, comment and conclude.  All with the overall outcome of contributing something of value in exchange for our valuable time.

This style of ‘New Media’ is a refreshing change to what we’ve been accustomed to and highlights one of the most compelling (though rare) characteristics of Leadership: The willingness to be unpopular in the moment for what one truly believes would serve the best and longer term interests of the greater good.  Rather than pander to the global epidemic of placing the need to validate our own significance above the joy found in raising that of others.

If we take a look at Politics we see in modern times it has become self-defeating.  Previously the role of the politician was more of a statesman. Doing the right thing for the right reasons for the populace at large.  Now the first role of any politician or government is to satisfy popular consensus so as to be re-elected in 4 years time and only somewhat down the scale to do what is ‘right’ in serving the people beyond that.  It’s a shame these two agendas rarely overlap.

By paradox, making a truthful declaration of what you believe and are happy to own as a viewpoint regardless of consensus usually creates more admiration by itself.  Not that you need it.  People like my mentor Dan Pena understand that very well. Thus we find one of the greatest attributes of human character is to be able to act independently of the GOOP we swim in (Good Opinion of Other People) and instead be guided from a deeper place of personal truth. Being able to recognize that whatever you feel is ‘Your Truth’ is not necessarily, in fact predictably, going to align with what ‘Someone Else’s Truth’ is and being OK with that is one of the first steps to emotional maturity. This allows us the freedom of acting sincerely and authentically in accordance with our own truth, without being thrown off balance by the need for others to conform to it, align with it, agree with it or draw us into a pointless argument as to who’s viewpoint or ‘truth’ is better.

This week I invite you to take some time to contemplate what drives you.  How you represent yourself when alone as opposed to when you feel others are watching (i.e. judging) and see where the gap is.  For example, are you more likely to pick up a piece of litter in the park when people are watching, or because it’s there and it’s the right thing to do?  Give yourself the challenge of being sincere and authentic for the day and feel the real power in the freedom it brings.  Remember, the quality of our outer world can only EVER be a reflection of the quality of our inner world.  Never the other way around.

The road to owning oneself at a level of personal sincerity and authenticity will never be found in the pages or channels of the mainstream media or from the voices of popular opinion which, by their very nature, breed and feed off divisiveness and contrary viewpoints.  All engineered in advance to capture and enroll those who are sleeping awake.  

No, it is found in listening to the inner spirit that compels us to reach beyond the comfortable grass of the herd and seek our nature in growth, contribution and ultimately a love for ourselves and others that shows up in kindness, compassion, understanding and tolerance.

Do or say one thing today, just one, that will put a smile on someone else’s face and get in touch with how it feels.  Not to score points.  Not to win favor of those around you.  Not to feed an insatiable need for approval, significance or to repair a poor self-image or boost an inflated ego – but from a deeper place that knows it’s the right thing to do. Regardless of any expectation of something in return.  I promise you the feeling will last much longer than if the personality was looking for the ego stroke many of us are addicted to.  Or at least another like on our latest social media post.

Why?  Because that, my friends, is the very essence of being sincere. Go be a smile creator and spread some joy for no other reason than to discover it’s in our authentic nature to do so.  I think you will like who shows up.

Peter Sage